Right now I am on a marathon of trying to wrap up two major work projects and it’s just too much to blog at the same time. I wish I had unlimited time and energy, but just like money, those things are finite and must be carefully budgeted [insert chagrined facial expression]. I hope you won’t mind the break and will decide to read again in the new year–although at that point, this may be more of a living-abroad blog.

Love,
Tania

“Myth #4: Exercise More When You Cheat

It just doesn’t make sense to try to be perfect (whatever that is) Sunday through Friday while obsessing about everything you’re going to eat on your day off. Then on Saturday you overeat just because you’re allowed to, so you end up feeling miserable all day. Huh? Personally, I would rather enjoy eating the foods I love every day mindfully and in moderation. I call this being “in charge” instead of going back and forth between being in control and out of control.”

Going back to Thursday’s thoughts about “good” and “bad” labels for food, I also believe that exercise should be about a more holistic goal than simply losing weight, maintaining weight, or achieving a certain look. Enjoyment should be part of the equation. Strength and health should be part of the equation. The concepts of “earning food,” making up for food with exercise, or “cheating” strike me as tapping into the “good/bad” or judgmental and–as May said–punitive part of ourselves.

As a recovering perfectionist, I work every day on this goal, which is harder than it sounds to achieve:

In all of your actions, be self-loving and kind.

I call it the reflexive golden rule.

That doesn’t mean being overly permissive, either. As May implies, we have to be good parents to ourselves–and that means setting limits. Dragging my sleepy self to the gym at 6AM is self-loving, just like taking particularly disgusting medicine is self-loving. Overeating is not self-loving; even if I think I want to eat a pint of ice cream, I wouldn’t let my (hypothetical) child do it and so I shouldn’t allow myself. The same goes for overspending.

I still have a long road ahead of me, but I am happy to be on the road rather than standing resolutely with my back to it.

I’d love to hear reader’s thoughts on this expanded topic: Why is it often so hard to be nice to ourselves, forgive ourselves, and/or go easy on ourselves? Why is there sometimes a double standard for the way we treat others and the way we treat ourselves?

“Yeah, you should eat something healthy.”

What I was going to say next was that I was only mouth hungry and would save my treat for later. His evaluation of my chosen treat as unhealthy did not escape my attention.

“There’s nothing wrong with a candy bar,” I replied, I am sure failing to hide the prickliness I felt.

At this point, he said something else to the effect of his first statement–in a friendly way, I must add.

“There’s nothing wrong with a candy bar,” I repeated. He clammed up. Then to save our relationship, I explained what I had wanted to say in the first place. That was the end of that.

This brief exchange brought one of my concerns about the U.S.* mentality on food and exercise to the front of my thoughts. Why do we assume that an indulgence is a negative thing—that a candy bar can’t be part of a healthy lifestyle?

In a comparative study on food mentality (I think I read this in In Defense of Food), people from France and the United States were asked to give word associations for “chocolate cake.” The most common French answer was “celebration.” The most common U.S. association was “guilt.”

Is it any surprise that my coworker labeled a candy bar forbidden rather than exciting? Until very recently, I would have too. I used to call days when I avoided sweets entirely “good” and those when I overindulged in them “bad.”

I was the kind of person who ate dressingless salads during the day and then splurged on two Weight Watchers ‘ice cream’ bars at night. I never allowed myself the real thing, like, say, Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey, which is what I really wanted to eat. But I didn’t feel I could allow myself. Being an extremist somehow felt safe, even if it meant lessening my enjoyment or nourishment, eating tasteless or additive-stocked ‘food.’

“Good” and “bad”: really, they have no place in my pantry—or my body. After much struggle, I have banished critical judgments from my kitchen, instead embracing the relative judgments of “too much,” “too little,” and “just right.” Call it the Goldilocks approach to wellness.

What did I end up getting at the corner store? A Snickers Almond bar to eat when I actually did get hungry for a treat. Let me tell you, it was delicious. I think I’m going to try the new Snickers Fudge next time.

Incidentally, Dima and I will be moving to the land of “chocolate cake celebration” in January so that he can spend a semester abroad. Despite my nerves regarding the transition, I am very pleased to have this opportunity to immerse myself in a society with values—at least where health is concerned—more closely aligned with my own.  I hear the yogurt selection in French supermarkets is mind blowing.

*I have ceased using the term “American” to refer to citizens of the United States after listening to a talk on history textbooks. There is a growing movement to reevaluate the term “American,” which really refers to people from Chile through Canada and not just the United States.

Folgers coffee (including my favorite, French Roast), 10-11 oz can, $1.99
Muir Glen Organic Tomatoes (crushed, etc), 34 oz can 2 for $4.00 (must buy 2)

I’ll pick up 2 cans of coffee along with my 2 cans of tomatoes since the price is so good. I won’t start using the coffee until next week because my beloved bag of Eight O’Clock brand ($5.59) hasn’t run out yet. The Folgers will last me about 2 1/2 weeks and the tomatoes 2 weeks (I like to use them in place of tomato sauce).

To the roundup. I made my grocery list for this week literally 5 times. There were some luxuries I really wanted, and I had to keep rearranging and making compromises in order to get all my wants and needs to work together.

Here is what I purchased:

Whole Foods:

Meyenberg Low Fat Goat’s Milk $3.79 (oops, forgot my coupon! Will use it next week. I should mention I typically buy whole milk because I like undoctored foods, but I am going to make high-calorie pudding with this milk. Low fat works to lower the overall ‘calorie expense’ of the pudding, which I’ll be enjoying daily)

Whole Foods Market raw shelled pistachios, 9 oz $7.99 ($2.66 counting for this week since I will use about 1/3 of the container)

Whole Foods Market cage free extra large eggs $2.89

spreadable goat cheese, 6 oz (1 oz per remaining days)$4.99

3 4-slice packages of Eli Zabar’s pecan raisin bread $8.97 (I know! Like I said, I really wanted some luxuries and I didn’t have time to go Zabar’s on the Upper West Side to buy this in a cheaper full $7 loaf)

3/4 lb Applegate Farms deli roasted organic chicken breast $7.59 (processed, but not very much as deli meats go)

-0.10 Go Green bag refund (because I shoved everything in my giant purse and my empty-post-work lunch bag)

Whole Foods total: $33.46

Fruit & Vegetable Market

4 N.Y. State Cortlandt apples $1.67 (I have a couple left from last week too)

6 large plums $3.02

8 bananas $2.19

Fruit & Vegetable Market Total: $6.88

Have already from last week:

avocado
the apples I mentioned

Still need to buy:

2 bunches of spinach or 1 package baby spinach (est. $4.00)
Muir Glen tomatoes ($4.00, $2.00 counting for this week)
Folgers coffee ($4.00, $0 counting for this week)

Tally for the week: $46.34 (under my $50 budget!)

Here is what I am planning to do with all of it:

Menu Plans (incorporating staples and leftovers):

Breakfast: oat-yogurt pancakes with goat cheese, pistachios, and sliced bananas; coffee with milk and sugar

Lunch: chicken and avocado sandwich on raisin pecan bread

Snacks: plums and N.Y. State Cortlandt apples

Dinner: polenta with olive oil, poached egg, crushed tomatoes, and spinach

Dessert: chocolate chocolate-chip pudding (homemade, using – among other things – cornstarch and goat’s milk butter

What’s on your menu this week?

Tania

NY Times writer Abby Ellin and I must have been on the same wavelength Wednesday night. After I posted my last entry, on working ‘temptation’ foods into your diet, the Times ran an article questioning the efficacy and safety of so-called “cookie diets.” Based on my own approach to nourishment and weight maintenance, I located the following problems in the ethos of “cookie diets”:

1. Lack of balance! Cookie diets supposedly integrate a “forbidden” food into one’s everyday diet–which is what I recommended re: chocolate-chip pancakes for breakfast. Severely restricting your consumption of other foods, though? Where’s the nourishment (which I am foolish enough to think is the purpose of food)?

2. The cookies on these diets do not seem to qualify as food. Made of distinctly non-cookie-like ingredients, and engineered to absorb water in the stomach and create a sense of fullness, they are what Michael Pollan refers to as “food-like substances.” (The United States threw out a law many years ago that would have forced companies to label foods with lots of additives as “imitation”; too bad for us, since now most supermarket “bread” contains 30+ “ingredients.”)

3. Starving yourself all day and then indulging in cookies, even if they are real cookies, is not a sustainable lifestyle. Attaining and maintaining a healthy weight is very important to overall health, but adopting habits you can’t sustain yields temporary results. It may also make you miserable.

I speak from experience: not too long ago I was relying on processed ‘diet foods’ to get me through the day. I gave them up slowly and reluctantly, helped along by the observation of a caring and brave roommate that my irritability had increased proportionally with the frozen meals in my diet.

It was only after a recent trip to Bulgaria that I realized food culture in the U.S. is particularly focused on “food” that isn’t really food. The moment you get sick of the cookie-and-starve cycle (I’m guessing quickly), you’ll be back where you started: in need of a strategy that works long-term.

I am glad that the Times put a spotlight on the importance of moderation and the dangers of going to extremes where diet is concerned. The question: is America listening?

Noting the date, and realizing the strong possibility I would inhale the bag of Snickers bars that was the sole chocolate item in the house, I needed a plan. It had to be cheap, because I splurged on produce this week. Enter: Whole Foods 365 brand chocolate chips. Remember the pancakes?

hm, pancake, there's something different about you. wait, don't tell me...

Even better with 2 teaspoons of creamy chocolate nuggets each. Yes, that’s me you see on the subway at 8:30 AM, savoring a tablespoon of peanut butter–or goat cheese–and half a sliced banana between recently reheated, fluffy, oaty, chocolatey clouds.

choco-mergency preparations: don't you love my blurry camera skills? yeah, me neither.

The ingredients are cheap and natural; per 2 pancakes, it’s 1 egg white, 3/4 oz yogurt, 1/2 tsp oil, flour, oats, and negligible amounts of baking soda/powder and salt. The bag of chocolate chips (safe in the freezer from hormonal hands) cost $2.99 and will last several months.

Chocolate chip pancakes work because they are built right into my existing grocery list and also my daily allowance of calories. Were I to go for a Snickers bar each day, I’d be adding over 200 calories of sugar and fat to my diet without adding much nourishment. If I ate the chips by themselves as dessert, I’d be left feeling deprived: only 2 miniscule teaspoons! .

Working them into breakfast makes the whole meal seem like a big treat. And what fun it is to eat one of those to start your busy day–rather than late at night, half-secretly or else unwisely brashly, when you’re feeling crabby or upset.

treat = breakfast; no willpower required

Pancakes may not be the answer for you, but permitting yourself to have a little treat, and building it into your days, might be just the helping hand you need to pull yourself out of the basket.

For the non-Etsy-versed, a summary:

www.etsy.com is a hub for craftspeople of all kinds–and people, like yours truly, who love owning handmade items. The wares are myriad, from the utilitarian (cleaning cloths) to the fun and fanciful (greeting cards, clothing) to the purely decorative (sconces, paintings). You name it, and it can probably be found on Etsy. Because sellers set the price, costs range from dollar-store all the way up to boutique-where-you-have-to-ask. No matter what you choose to buy or how much you spend, you can feel good about buying something made by hand, by an artisan.

Back to lunches. Greeny-crunchy people tend to flock to Etsy, so when I searched for “reusable sandwich bag,” literally hundreds upon hundreds of items popped up (a search today yields 2,789 results). They seemed to come in every conceivable print, and a little research proved many of them similar in quality. I tagged several sellers as “favorites” and kept shopping around.

In the end, I kept coming back to the same seller: BleuRoo. Her bags had everything I wanted: they were sizeable, they were thick, they were machine-washable, they closed with velcro, and they were lined in food-safe nylon that I could easily wipe down. The clincher: they were simple. I tire of wacky patterns pretty quickly. The price was right, too: a set of three would cost me $17.00 or a little under $5.70 per bag with shipping. After a couple weeks of deliberation, I hit the order button.

My bags arrived Saturday(!) I gleefully opened the package, and I wasn’t disappointed.

I have used them for two days now, and I am very pleased. They have held PB&Js, carrot pieces, beautiful yellow wax beans, and shiny N.Y. State apples. Tonight, I filled one with crunchy vegetables and another with sweet luscious fruit. Yum! (And a conscionable yum, as cannot be said for my ill-fated cheap chicken.)

Reusable bags aren’t any cheaper than regular ziplocs, at least not until a while after you start using them. According to a collaborative estimate by me and Dima, it will take 30 weeks (7.4 months) before mine start paying for themselves. I do see myself bringing lunch for that long, and longer, so I feel good about my purchase despite the lengthy budget payoff wait. In the meantime, I can feel good about the number of plastic bags I am not discarding. As I like to tell myself, I can have it all–just not necessarily all at the same time.

On the day I bought my fabulous BleuRoo bags, I did get everything I wanted at once. One click later, I ordered a sandwich wrap from another seller. I tend to bring big, messy sandwiches (whether bookended in pancakes or bread), and they need a wrap-type package to hold them together. I’ll review it as soon as I can test-wrap it.

Next on my Etsy wishlist, whenever I have the cash: a set of reusable produce bags from seller ecofriendly4u (I’m a bit tired of wasting all those pull-and-tear bags in the produce section). Not that I wouldn’t accept them as a very, very early Chanukah gift. Til next time, be well!

GRAND TOTAL (accounting for groceries that will last longer than a week): $66.42

We went over. Mea culpa. I didn’t leave enough room in the budget for fresh produce and we got hungry for it: extra produce was procured. We also both ended up borrowing a few dollars from next week’s budget, finding ourselves stranded at work (me) or school (Dima) without enough snacks.That’s okay, because this was our first try at such a constricting weekly budget. We’ll know more and be able to plan better next time we want to eat out.

Reviewing receipts isn’t just about individual weeks. It allows me to make sense out of broader, formerly vague spending patterns. I now know approximately how long my bag of coffee lasts me (13 days), how long a quart of milk lasts me (7-9 days), and how often I need to replace my sugar (2 months) and flour (1 month). These expenses vary, just like our gas and electricity bill, but tracking allows me to set aside enough money for them. If push came to shove, I’d rather go without coffee than electricity–but I’d really kind of like to always to have both.

Ordinarily, I would celebrate such a bargain. When I started skinning the legs, though, reality set in.

like a science project, only it ends up in your stomach

There were: grainy stray parts of organs; frozen blood snaking out of a few veins; an unusual amount of fat (I’m guessing from the birds’ being crowded into miniscule cages); even a few feather tips still stuck in the skin. Seeing how carelessly the chickens seemed to have been butchered, I could only assume they were treated with equal negligence in life.

This I knew about ‘conventional’ chicken before I made my grocery list. I have bought the $1.99-a-pound variety countless times before–but I didn’t really understand the impact of my choice until the 39-cent stuff made it, in scores, into my kitchen sink.

conscience vs. hunger: you can't see it in the small image, but my tongue is poking out in mild disgust

I did manage to turn the bony, pink, fatty chicken legs into neat tupperwares of tasty, cooked, relatively lean chicken pieces. They are feeding us well in terms of protein, but I can’t help factoring a dose of antibiotics – and guilt – into the nutritional value of each portion.

cleaned, looking much better

just like the chicken in tacos; on that note, restaurant chicken is probably all 39-cent chicken

It’s free-range chicken for me next time, or I risk serious injury to my green psyche.